Getting Your Core on for Jesus

I never watch the News.  I occasionally read the News, but I filter most of what I read.  This is mainly a self-preservation technique, as the News has left me dissolved in tears over the horrors of what we do to one another.  Every once in a while I have been rickrolled by a lead or a article heading, but usually I manage to stay out of the murky depths.


This is nearly impossible to accomplish when you watch the News on tv.  It seems to matter little what the leading stories of the day are:  Japan, Libya, the Recovery, the Un-Recovery, Afghanistan, etc... you are going to first be subjected to Info-tainment, the spam of the wasteland that is network news.  I'm sure that if a network news executive were to wander onto my pitiful little space here he would offer me deep critical insight from the current king of Info-tainment in the form of the deep analysis that we have come to expect from the Pundits.  It would go something like this: "Uh, duh. Winning!"  (As an aside, did you know that the word 'pundit' originated from the Hindi, "... term pandit, which in turn originates from the Sanskrit (a language from ancient India) term paṇḍitá, meaning "learned" (see also Pandit). It refers to someone who is erudite in various subjects and who conducts religious ceremonies and offers counsel to the king."  from Wikipedia.  Oh, how far we have fallen.)


Anyway, just proving that Modern Man has eschewed the chalice to swill directly from the trough (lest our sense, dignity, or humanity interfere with our ever enlightened Progress) I bring you:

POLE DANCING FOR JESUS

Wheeeeeee!

HOUSTON - Pole dancing as a workout is nothing new. Over the past few years, independent studios have popped up all over the country, but there is a very unique type of pole dancing class here in our area.

It’s called Pole Fitness for Jesus.

You’re probably thinking: “How on Earth can you mix pole dancing with Jesus?”

According to one studio in Spring, you can definitely mix the two.

“I was actually a dancer for 3 years, probably 7 years ago or so. I did it for awhile, it’s not something I felt very rewarded with, but to each his own and it was just something I decided I didn’t want to do anymore so I decided to take the part that I liked about that and bring it here but it’s so much fitness, I don’t teach women to be strippers,” said owner/instructor of Best Shape of Your Life Crystal Deans.

Every 2md[sic] Sunday of the month, Crystal Deans invites female church-goers into her pole dancing studio.

“On Sundays, we do pole fitness for Jesus. We do the upbeat contemporary Christian music because people have to bring their church program to get into the class, so we basically are just continuing the whole worship thing here.”

Don't let the name of the class fool you though. There's no prayer beforehand and there's no crosses hanging in her studio,

“Just to get past the whole stigma of the whole thing, I’m very Christian. I go to church every Sunday and I pray. I talk to God things like that I think there’s nothing wrong with what I do. I teach women to feel good about themselves, to feel empowered and we get in really good shape. God is the only person that judges so anybody who wants to judge me, feel free to but I’m good with God, so that’s what’s important to me and I really don’t care what people think.”

And neither does newcomer, Tiffany Booth.

“I think it’s a fabulous thing. I was raised around religion. My parents were very religious and it’s a great way you get the stigma off. It’s not just dancing on a pole. You have music and you have girls together working out and it’s a different kind of workout. There’s tons of different kinds of workouts, this just happens to be one,” said Tiffany.

“I mean it does the legs. That’s why we wear the shoes. The shoes are good for the legs and the glutes, but it’s a lot of upper body and a lot of core,” said Crystal.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

On the 'News', Ms. Deans spoke of the 'spiritual connection' she definitely felt to Jesus when she was on the pole. Lord have mercy.