|Maternal Caress by Mary Cassatt|
I am realizing how far behind I am getting ready for the new little. The sorting, cleaning, a replacing of many things, plus the establishing a new sleeping situation for E. (4) who has been family bedding with us for the last five months and B. who needs to transition to the boys room.
6½ weeks to go. So many things to worry and fuss over. I know I need to stop, drop (everything), and roll (my prayer rope through my fingers). Everything will get done, one way or another.
We have settled on a St. Irenaeus as the patron of this little girl. As much for his apologia, as for our desire that this child should embody the peace that this name means. We are waiting to see what day she will be born on before we decide on a middle name.
What a year we have had already! My beloved and I have almost always managed my labor together and mostly alone. Husband-coached childbirth takes years to achieve. Suddenly we've been thrown a loop in our routine. Will I be able to walk pain-free and unassisted when the time comes? What impact will The Ankle have on my labor? I am now considered "High Risk" and I'm hoping this is a distinction that is more pro forma than reality. These are anxieties that I am holding at bay (barely).
There isn't much we really need. Maybe a new car seat. Some newborn diaper covers and a few more more newborn diapers. A small layette and some onesies and sleepers. I made one sweater, I'll make another along with some more hats and some baby booties. It feels bigger than it really is.
When I dwell too long on these things, I feel my heart lurch and run into to overdrive. I think this is the faith, charity, holiness, and sobriety part of my salvation that I need to work on.
What rituals and things do you have to have as you prepare for birth? What prayers or meditations are helpful for you?