You Know What Causes That, Right?

Somehow, when I hit publish half of my original post disappeared.  Please forgive my incoherence.  I'm not sure this made it any better, but the first half has been restored.


Recently, I was waiting at the hospital for a decidedly difficult to find sharp's container when it happened.  I was waiting in the discharge area with several other patients. Usually I can predict who and what form the 'it' is going to take, but that day I was not paying attention as I had already waited for quite sometime and there was no end in sight.

"Is this your first baby?"
"Pardon me?
"You are expecting?  Is this your first pregnancy?"
"Yes, I am.  No, it isn't."
[uncomfortable pause]
"How many children do you have?"
"This will be our seventh."

I know that it can be more startling to hear this news that there is a young, 30-something mother happy to be expecting her seventh child, but I was still taken aback by this particular woman's reaction.  Rising out of her chair, she adjusted the spectacles that balancing on her nose so that she could more effectively examine me.  Her hands struck the desktop with such startling ferocity that several of the other patients jumped in their seats.

"You know what causes that, don't you?"

Up to now, I had only ever encountered a sneer ion the lips of some sinister ne'er do well in the pages of   of some gruesome murder mystery.  I am certain that the tone and expression on this woman's face would live up to everything literary sneering aims to be.

I wish I could pinpoint the moment in time when we became committed to the large family course we've been on for more than a decade.  The most hopeful me would say, our wedding day.  In reality it has been a struggle for each of us.  Sometimes more, sometimes less, but it is a daily conversion for each of us.  Growing in understanding of what exactly is this blessing of children, what it means to being open to to life, being open to God's will.  Just because you decide on paper that you do not want to engage in the so-called 'contraceptive mentality' does not mean that you won't wrestle with what that means from time to time.

After I became pregnant with our third child, the jokes, comments, and questions began to abound regarding when we were going to stop having children.  Three.  It really amazed me that three small children could elicit such powerful emotion and derision.  I was embarrassed, angry! and speechless at the near constant commentary that came from all quarters.  I'm certain that Satan was doing all that poking and prodding and hackle raising.

Actually, mention any spiritual discipline and you will get the same angry response from the same people.  So taking an average group of Christians and non-believers alike and raise the case for tithing or fasting or the blessing of children and you are likely to be met with the same level of vitriol, defensiveness, and rejection of the argument (maybe even a few ad hominem attacks if you are really lucky).  And why is that?  Because the Devil is at work there.  Any time we obey those commandments that cause us to die to self, any small sacrifice that we make towards the building of our treasure in Heaven, anytime we choose LOVE over jealousy, avarice, covetousness, fornication, pride, et cetera our defeated foe makes a furious campaign to overwhelm us.  It can be shocking the venom that snake has ready for us, but there it is.  I used to be much more cautious to call out the Devil on these things, but if it is not the work of Satan then I am at an utter loss as to why my business is of any concern to anyone else.

I had a much beloved professor who used to pound table with both hands and declare, "Children!  If you learn nothing else, you must know!  Evil exists!  It's a fallen world!"  That lovely man saved me more time than I can tell you.  I no longer try to understand the senseless, terrible things that occur in this world.  If events at times seem to arise out of senseless chaos, out of insanity . . .  then it is likely that they do.

So given all this, and the fact that we do have several more children than your average household, I decided several years ago, that I wanted to be a positive witness for marriage, large-than-average families, and for husbands and wives.  I have been through the 5 stages of "you know what causes that" everything from humiliation to cordial silence to barbed comments to funny retorts and finally acceptance.  I know this topic is covered ad nauseum, there's even a song.  As I am rapidly approaching my due date (only 7.5 more weeks) I'm going to throw in my 2 cents:  be a good witness.  If you must say something, smile and say, "yes."  Now unfortunately, this doesn't satisfy everyone, but it will satisfy most.  It was not going to satisfy my cross-examiner that day.  What a bizarre experience, this public trial of sorts as there were many present.  All the same, I was resolved to neither be snarky, nor rude, nor defensive, nor embarrassed.    

"You know what causes that, don't you?"

"Yes. My husband is a wonderful lover."

The coolness and unexpectedness of my comment knocked her off her feet.  And maybe that seems to be a mean or crude joke to play on someone.  But actually, what followed was a frank and lovely conversation about what we consider our vocation.  Gone away was the Angry Sneerer,  scurried off was the venomous snake, all that was left was a room of people who listened and heard, "the grace is bestowed when the blessing is received."

Win-win, I'd say.

Great News and A Little Word on Motherwork

We're expecting number seven!  This blessing is due in March.  Please keep us in your prayers.  As always this comes as a joyful surprise. 

I'm certain that in the coming weeks and months I will encounter the polite, incredulous, and the occasional awe-full statement.  It is frequently the subject of mothers and fathers of large families, how to respond to such comments.  Several years ago, I decided that the best response was to be polite and honest or deaf, if necessary.  

So now that I've kissed meat goodbye . . . what's for dinner?

When I married Josephus, he was a vegetarian.  I think it was for health reasons, I never really delved too far into it.  He was not into vegetarian activism thankfully.  He was not trying to save the earth.  Eating animals was not mean, as far as he was concerned.  He did have one membership with PETA which was a deal breaker for me and then he dropped it.  Eventually, through the power of tuna fish salad he returned to the meat eating world after 4 years of marriage and now 7 years later, we have given up meat together.

Eventually, I will write a post on how letting my husband be in charge makes our family work better, but not tonight at nearly 2 a.m..

When I was originally cooking meatless, I remember feeling like there was no main dish and making up for it with 5 or 6 different sides.  Back then I would cook for hours.  We typically ate dinner after 9 p.m..  We are not very avant garde folk, so this was a challenging time.  This time I feel like I've got a better handle on what makes dinner (not to mention, keeping to a regular dinner time).  With that I bring you this tasty treat from the Etsy blog:

Quinoa Croquettes with Cilantro Yogurt Sauce
by Anna Getty

Quinoa (pronounced "KEEN-wah") is one of my favorite grains. It's high in protein, low in acid, and has a beautiful nutty flavor. It is an ancient Incan grain, which the Incas believed was a grain from the gods. Look for heirloom varieties with the fair trade symbol. Fair trade ensures that farmers are being fairly compensated for their labor.

Before cooking, make sure to rinse the quinoa thoroughly in a fine-mesh strainer to remove the bitter outer coating. The tartness of the Cilantro Yogurt Sauce, made with Japanese plum vinegar, is the perfect accompaniment to these crispy croquettes. The sauce is so tasty that I increased the recipe a bit so you'll have extra sauce on hand.

Ingredients

Cilantro Yogurt Sauce:
1 large bunch fresh cilantro, stemmed
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup ume plum vinegar
1 small white onion, quartered (about 1/2 cup)
2 cups plain yogurt
1/3 cup olive oil

Quinoa Croquettes:
1 cup quinoa, washed thoroughly
1 medium carrot, peeled and grated on medium holes
1 small zucchini, grated on medium holes
1 scallion, finely chopped (white and green parts)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
6 sprigs fresh parsley, stemmed and minced
1 large egg
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
Grapeseed oil for cooking

Serves 6

1. To make the sauce, combine the cilantro, soy sauce, vinegar, and onion in a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Stop the motor and add the yogurt and olive oil. Blend until creamy. Transfer the sauce to a container with a lid and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
2. To make the croquettes, combine the rinsed quinoa with 2 cups of water in a small pot and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes, or until the water is completely absorbed. Remove from the heat and transfer to a medium bowl to cool.
3.  When cool add the carrot, zucchini, scallion, garlic powder, salt, parsley, egg, and flour. Mix well. Using your hands, form the mixture into patties about 1/2 inch thick and 2 inches in diameter.
4. Pour just enough oil into a large skillet to cover the bottom of the pan, and heat the oil over medium heat. Working in batches, lay the quinoa cakes in the pan and cook for 3 to 4 minutes. (You can probably cook 5 to 6 patties at once.) When the cakes are golden, turn them over and cook until the second side is golden. (Check by lifting up a side with a spatula.) Add additional oil as needed, and remove any brown bits that accumulate in the pan as you cook.
5. Remove the cakes from the pan and place them on a plate lined with a recycled brown paper bag. Serve hot, drizzled with the Cilantro Yogurt Sauce. Or put the yogurt sauce in a bowl for dipping. Top the cakes with grated carrot and zucchini.